4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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