My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby