Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.