yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
