We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
zippers are such a cool invention
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize