okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
