we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i think i have herpe
just one?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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