God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
