I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
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