he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
