ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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