this beer tastes like vomit already
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
