Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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