Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize