i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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