At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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