from now on my penis is your penis
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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