so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
