But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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