ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
