At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
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We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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