i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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