chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
