so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
