her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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