Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
