dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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