Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
