it was like eating out sand paper
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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