what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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