im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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