my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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