anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
