my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
