u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
