What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
