Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
