I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
