Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
