We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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