He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
