after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
3pm strippers are depressing
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
