from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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