Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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