You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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