Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
