called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My life is pants optional.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize