I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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