I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
