Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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