only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
