I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
