She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
