got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
