i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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