doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
