no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
