She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize