I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
