Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
