It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
is wine microwaveable?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
