I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
