i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
