Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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